They only get worse

So I met my ex husband about 4 years ago he lived with his sister that happened to live right down the street from my aunt.

When we first hung out the red flags were there but I chose to ignore them I'm not the person to judge anyone from there past. I mean he came off sweet loving, And funny ....... so almost instantly we started dated I would say maybe 3 months after that we actually moved in with each other.

And it went down hill from there.

I lived with a roommate at the time and he did not like it that we were like sisters eventually I chose to take his side and we stopped being friends I have lost a lot of friendships because of him!

I worked 12 hour shifts nights and while I was at work is when the cheating started he cheated so many times before we got married I lost count and still I did not leave eventually we finally get married and the day we got married he cheated on me and did not come back until the next morning.

So I would say maybe 1 year into our marriage the abuse started he started doing drugs really heavily and acting crazy ..... I remember the first time he hit me open handed he gave me a black eye and I had to go to work like that I felt so embarrassed smh and he apologized and I forgave and stayed...the black eyes became normal ...... he actually broke my cheek bone, busted my head open I literally looked like a monster I still look in the mirror at myself like why did you put yourself through this I don’t even look the same!

It was getting to where I was not sleeping my face was always beat up I lost my job and I lost my children my family stopped talking to me and I fell into a really dark place that I was afraid to crawl out of .... I remember  a time he pulled a gun and pointed it to my head and I remember feeling so scared like asking why he was doing this smh he hit me onto of my head with the gun and literally left a hole in my head I was dizzy and barley could stand up and blood pouring down my face and I'm telling him I need to go to the emergency room and he looks at me with cold eyes and says I don’t care DIE. SMH

I just could not wrap my head around how someone that claimed they love you was so evil towards you.

He would always choke me until I almost passed out...I always knew when it was going to be a bad night cause he would tell me go into the room and I new what was going to happen ... I fell into a depression to the point I was praying to GOD to just kill me cause I could not go through anymore abuse, torture or pain I lost my kids my family there was nothing to live for.

I literally lost everything ......but one day I woke up and I was just done I was done being hurt,  abused and used I actually gained the courage to leave now mind you I left and came back 500 times before i actually left ...... and i never went back i remember i showed up to my mother's front door and she was i tears my children was in tears that i made that decision now he was mad still trying to contact me and threaten me saying he could kill me and get away with it smh

I actually stayed with my mother I got a little job. And started building my relationship with my children again until I made it to where I am now I have my own car my own place .... I have my kids with me I'm at a place where I thought I would never be I have came along way.

And I'm so proud of myself now I still have bad dreams and backflashes of what I been through and it still bothers me but it's a everyday process! I just hope my story helps other women to find the courage to walk away men like him never change they only get worse until they kill you. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to tell my story I really appreciate it